‘Justing’: How we dismiss the truth we feel within us

Once upon a time my partner and I came up with a word and concept: ‘justing’.
It started with how we related to something time-sensitive. For example, we’d be getting ready to go out. Person A was ready and Person B was not. So Person A would say: “I’ll just put away the dishes while I wait for them.” Then Person B would finally be ready, only to find that now Person A was engaged in just putting the dishes away! So person B then goes: “Oh well, I’ll just make a quick phone call while they finish the dishes.” Then Person A finishes the dishes and finds person B on the phone. “Ah, I’ll just quickly check my email while they’re on the phone”. Upshot… 2 hours later we make it to the front door….. you get the picture! Has this ever happened to you? So we used to laugh our heads off at this observation of human relationship with self and others, and we called it ‘justing’.

Funny it sure is. Frustrating it can sometimes be. Quite revealing however.

Since then, I’ve extended my enquiry into ‘justing’ and realized that we often use ‘just’ in another way that is harming through every aspect of our lives.

We use it to trivialize and dismiss things we feel are very important, and take our focus off what is truly going on.

(Note that the word ‘only’ is used in the same kind of way.)

How about these as examples:

“Your sickness is just in your head”
“It’s just the placebo effect”
“It’s just a matter of time”
“He’s just a friend”
“It’s just your imagination”
“They’re just a bunch of uneducated plebs”
“It’s just a thought”
“She’s just a kid”
“Sound being emitted by cells is just the vibration of atoms and molecules”
“You’re just a woman”
“It’s just human nature”
“It’s just the weather”
“It’s just a head cold”
“I’m just going to say to them…”

Wanna look deeper into what is being trivialized?

How about we start with the above examples:

“Your sickness is just in your head”
If you feel sick, something is wrong. Period. The ‘just’ makes you doubt yourself, doubt your true feelings and senses. It may be that you are truly, materially sick in your body. It may be that you are truly, materially out of order in your brain and/or mind. It may be that you are sensing that something is wrong on the inside of you or on the outside of you and it is making you feel sick. In all the above cases you are truly feeling energy out of harmony, out of balance, not truth, and there is a call to find out what’s wrong and address it. This is NOT trivial! This is NOT a ‘just’!

“It’s just the placebo effect”
The placebo effect is incredibly powerful. It means that you get a health benefit just by being part of a study or test, even when you have not received a ‘real’ treatment. The first level of its action is that something about the heightened awareness that comes with being part of a study or test, engages a focus on your health and triggers a greater awareness of your health, and a greater commitment to your health. The second level of placebo action is that it somehow triggers a natural healing process within your body – how awesome is that? The third level of placebo action is that in a study or test, the people involved are deeply connected. The experimenter is listening to you. They are seeing and feeling you. They are caring about you and what you say and the responses in your body. You are in each other’s presence in a rhythmic way – scheduled – so that each person, body and mind, is ‘primed and ready’ for the interaction and what they are going to do together, co-operatively. Group work.

These are POWERFUL effects! They tell us something absolutely AWESOME about our natural healing capabilities, the power of focus and intention, the power of feeling connected, cared about, seen, and working together to reveal truth.

Why aren’t we finding out how these levels of the placebo effect actually work?! What could be the potential for people taking responsibility for their health? What could be the potential for reducing the massive reliance on drugs, surgery, doctors, hospitals, comforts and distractions, etc? What could be the potential for understanding the true connection between people, and how our union transforms our wellbeing?

“It’s just a matter of time”
Something about saying this makes it seem as if time is some random thing that happens to us and that we have no active, intelligent involvement with. We somehow deny that nature has a rhythm that we are part of. And yet even in the saying of it, ‘just a matter of time’, we are somehow acknowledging that things have a natural course, a natural unfoldment. We are saying that many things must progress to a state where they are able to come together, ‘constellate’ into a particular pattern where the next step can occur. We are saying that there is a certain rhythmic cycle to things, people and events. What if we were to practice our awareness and catch ourselves every time we say ‘just’, in regard to time, and explore what we might be perceiving truly about the current situation, cause and effect, what is unfolding, how it relates to the present state of ourselves, our close ones, our situation, our humanity and our planet? This is not trivial! What is it that we really know about life and time more fundamentally and truly than all the factual knowledge and information out there?

“He’s just a friend or just my husband / my daughter / the plumber / a bunch of greenies / a politician / a criminal”, etc
OMG! How do you feel to be on the receiving end of this? Do you feel that you are somehow less important, less equal, less human, less deserving of respect, and of being felt and taken into account in every moment because you are identified in some way? When we are in the presence of a stranger, we are fully alert, aware, tuning into them, feeling them as a human, feeling how they are, feeling where they are coming from, their intentions, their needs, the whole shebang. How is it that we drop our complete equality and respect and awareness for the people we know and classify? Why don’t we fully feel and acknowledge every single human being equally no matter what relationship we have to them?

A friend ‘just’ (as in a moment ago while writing this) defended the ‘just’ by saying: if you were in the house at night alone and someone was coming through the gate, you could say ‘it’s just my son’ and then feel safe. BUT my immediately-felt response to this is…. isn’t this the same? You drop your awareness and dismiss someone because it’s ‘just’ your son. It means you don’t tune into him merely because there is no threat. But what if he were coming home upset or injured or feeling bad about himself, or feeling amazing about himself? Wouldn’t you want to feel it? Wouldn’t you want to be 100% ready and open to receive him and respond to him in all that he is right then? To be ready to reflect to him your full awareness and openness to him and love for him even if he is shut down and not wanting to express? Gosh how we deny ourselves and all others the fullness of our love and humanity!

(I hear some of you say: but what about the ‘politician’ and the ‘criminal’? Same! Not to reduce anyone’s responsibility for their actions of course. Those may not be acceptable. However, what if all humans were indeed fully felt and seen and able to receive a reflection of real love and humanity, without judgment, sympathy, or denial of them as equal human beings at the core? What effect do you feel this might have on society if applied regularly by everyone who wakes up to it? What if we stop ‘justing’ people?

“It’s just your imagination”
You know something’s going on. You felt something or saw something or thought something. It came from somewhere. We are part of the universe. There is nothing outside the universe. Therefore, all thoughts, imaginings, energies, substances and events are also part of the universe. There is nothing we can ‘imagine’ that’s outside the universe. It all exists already. So if we ‘imagine’ something, it’s true it may be ‘in our heads’ and not materially obvious anywhere, but it came in the form of an energy configuration that already exists. There’s a reason for it. By saying it’s ‘just’ whatever, we trivialize the going deeper into finding out the reason for it, the nature and quality of that energy. Is it truth? Is it something that warps truth to fool you? Is it a confusing mix that throws you into self-doubt? Is it something harmful or disharmonious going on in you or in general that needs to be brought attention to? Is it something that is there to be shared for the good of all?

“They’re just a bunch of uneducated plebs”
Here we go judging, identifying and classifying again. This statement and all those like it (she’s just a blonde for instance – how outrageous!) are even more of an indictment of the person saying it than they are of the person or group whose shortcomings are being pointed out and dismissed as inferior! How can the educated (who view themselves as elite or better in some way) truly know or appreciate the contribution being made by those whom they judge from such a self-appointed lofty perspective? Who cleans your toilet and your office? Who keeps your phones and computers running so you can fly high in your educated atmosphere? Who grows your food and brings it to the supermarket? Who of all those countless ‘uneducated plebs’ might be the one, full of heart for fellow humans, who calls an ambulance, administers first aid and saves your life when you are about to bleed to death in a car accident? Or advises their child to beware of the possible use of drugs at a party (that your child is attending), and to help protect other young people present? Infinite examples possible. ‘just’ let that imagination run wild! The truth is, no matter what opinions we hold of others, no matter how ‘not right’ their behavior or being might seem to us (and ours even though we don’t see it) we are one humanity, cells in one organism, and we all need each other for the whole to work.

“It’s just a thought”
This is like the ‘just your imagination’. A thought comes from somewhere in the universe, there can be no ‘new and original’ ones, because there is nothing outside the universe and the whole universe exists now. So if a thought came into your head – gee, isn’t that revealing, ‘came into’ your head – it says that it didn’t arise in your head but came in from somewhere else! What is that ‘somewhere else’? Where is that ‘somewhere else’? It’s as if we are like radios or TV sets, receiving energy waves from ‘out there’, and the state of our tuning determines what we pick up. How and why did that thought come into your head? Through what opening? For what purpose? What state were you in when that thought came in, and what state were you in leading up to that thought coming in? Is there a pattern, ie. does living in a particular way and being in a particular state lead to certain types of thoughts coming in? These are very deep, important questions! Humanity is being driven by its thoughts, and a lot of those thoughts are pretty awful. We need to find answers to this issue!

“She’s just a kid”
Are you a kid right now? Or do you remember being a kid? Do you know stuff that the grownups don’t know? It’s really obvious to you, so how come they don’t get it? What’s wrong with them? Kids feel and sense way more than adults, of the stuff that’s very important but somehow gets lost as we grow up. Kids have minds that are not yet cluttered up with facts and details and crushed by limitations of what can and can’t be done or thought. Kids are not yet taken ‘out of themselves’ by rushing and busy-ness and feeling overwhelmed by demands. So why aren’t we listening to kids? Why aren’t we listening to the kid within ourselves? Is it possible that we value intellectual/learned knowledge and experience too much, and because kids don’t have that yet, they and what they have to say are somehow lesser? Is it possible that, because we take an attitude of ownership over our kids we dull ourselves to the fact that they are fully sensible human beings in their own right? That expression: “out of the mouths of babes” is an important one in this context – it shows that we do appreciate that children have access to truth in a way that cuts to the core of an issue, that is so simple and obvious and fundamental that it blows all our mental dross away in a moment of revelation and inner knowing. Is it possible that if we put learned knowledge back into its proper place in balance with feeling and being, and we stop considering our children as possessions, we will all benefit from the awesome contribution they have to make as equal human beings? No more ‘justing’ of the kids!

“Sound being emitted by cells is just the vibration of atoms and molecules”
Here’s a scientific one. All is energy therefore all is because of energy. Scientists know this, and yet the whole of humanity including scientists seems hell-bent on living and thinking as if everything is material, and energy doesn’t matter. That material is ‘it’ and energy is just some consequence or thing kicking around in there for matter and the material Us to do our thing with. It is suggested that the sound vibrations emitted by living cells are actually meaningful communications of the state of the cell and what it’s doing, sensing and needing, so that all other cells know, so that the whole organ and body can know and work together to keep things in harmony. But many scientists say: ‘It’s just sound caused by the vibration of atoms and molecules. Doh! The vibrational- energy state of the atoms and molecules (particles) is the fundamental state of the cell at the deepest ‘quantum’ levels that connect them to everything else. Energy is ‘it’. It reveals whether the particles and the cell they make up are in harmony and synchrony with everything else or not. This is vital ‘goss’ from particle to particle and from cell to cell – how’s your body going to work without that communication? There’s no ‘just’ about it – the vibrations producing the sound IS the meaningful communication!

“You’re just a woman”
Owch! Hasn’t every woman felt the shattering untruth of the energy behind this statement? Hasn’t every child of either gender felt it when they hear a man say this to a woman, or even a woman say it to another woman? At what point did the full equal humanity of women degrade into a worldwide agreement that if you are a woman you are lesser, you deserve less respect, are of less account, your thoughts are lesser, your ability to understand is lesser, the scope of what you know is lesser? Is it possible that the world has been on a fast track of over-valuing technological and intellectual advances historically dominated by men, and thus we value only one way of thinking and knowing at the expense of the other, more human-sensitive, expansive and inclusive ways that are natural to women and children? Is it possible that we have forgotten that those ways are natural to men too? What would happen if men were to en-masse re-connect to their sensitive inner ways of knowing? Could that change our emphasis, change the balance, bring back the respect towards women and children and their ways of being and knowing?

“It’s just human nature”
Now that’s a dumping of responsibility if ever there was one! This is like dismissing all our bad behavior by validating it as something that everyone does because we can’t help it because it’s somehow hard-coded into us. How pathetic is that? It’s like saying: “I couldn’t help raping or murdering someone because I can’t control my human nature”. But what about the other ‘justs’ of human nature? How about the love, kindness, care for fellow humans and creatures, the deep sense of and longing for truth, meaning, connection and divinity? We know ourselves to be different from the animals in regard to this true humanness within us, yet we degrade ourselves by seeing ourselves as animals. We accept and excuse the opposites – greed, lust, anger, deceit, hate, violence, etc – as our ‘animal nature’. But the rub is that animals are not actually like that! We as humans are choosing to see the animals through the filter of our excuses, using the animals to validate our own bad behavior! It’s time we took a deep honest look into what is really our nature and the nature of animals, without the taint of irresponsibility. We have a body and a mind and a soul. How do these relate to each other? How can they be connected and brought into balance to express our humanness in full? Let’s stop ‘justing’ our nature, and find out what it really is!

“It’s just the weather”
The Earth is big. We individual humans feel small in comparison. But we are on the Earth, our bodies are intrinsic to it – little cells in the big body of the whole Earth. Perhaps in seeing ourselves small, we do not appreciate the contribution we make to how the Earth is. What state is our body in without all its cells healthy and working together in harmony? It is sick. What state is the Earth in without all its cells (humans and other living creatures) working together in harmony? It is sick. Weather is part of the physiology of the Earth, as our breath, body temperature and water are part of each human’s physiology. All these things go through rhythmic cycles while maintaining the balance known as homeostasis. When our cycles are disturbed by disharmonious influences, imbalance and sickness is the result. In the same way the Earth’s physiology has cycles that can be disrupted by disharmonious influences. Is it possible that the weather is a sign and symptom of the state of health of the whole body of Earth, determined by the state of health of its component parts, including us? Take a look at humanity now – it is a disharmonious influence? Yes! So it is possible that the very disharmony within ourselves is responsible for de-stabilizing the Earth’s weather? So rather than: “It’s just the weather”, shouldn’t we be asking: “What is it about us that is making the weather so extreme?”

“It’s just a head cold”
This is like saying that head colds just happen. Some hassle that comes from outside, the fault of someone or something else – the sick worker in the office, the cold weather, etc. Certainly these things contribute; you have to pick up the virus from somewhere and your body has to be compromised by a stress in order to come down with a head cold. But then how do you ‘just’ explain that the next guy working in the same office, exposed to the same cold weather, doesn’t get the cold when you do? Is it possible that your body is showing you something specific to you, about how you have been treating it? Something that has made your immune system go down and be unable to prevent attack by the virus? That your body is pulling out all stops to expel the virus, by running a fever to kill it, by pouring out mucous to wash it away, by making you feel shivery so you go and rug yourself up, by making you feel sick so you go to bed, stop rushing around, and nurture yourself? In short, is your body shouting at you that you have been refusing to listen to it and instead rushing around stressing yourself and not nurturing yourself? Did your body even co-opt the help of the virus to force you to stop and listen? Could it be that the ‘just a mole’, ‘just a bruise’, ‘just a tummy upset’, and all the other ‘justs’ should be elevated to the top of the priority list and really listened to for what they are telling us about our choices? Why wait for the gigantic scream of cancer or heart disease – listen to the small but very important messages all the time!

“I’m just going to say to them…”
Whoa! Did you trivialize and dismiss your own worth, and the worth of the message you have to express to someone? Do you feel that what you have to say is not important? Why are you saying it to a third party first, saying it loaded with self-doubt and emotion, instead of going straight to the actual person you want to say it to and sharing the heart-felt truth, without dumping or cringeing? What would happen if you did? What would you truly have to lose by honestly valuing yourself and what you sense as being true? And why would you trivialize it before you even express it to the person you will take it to? Is that a big ‘owch’ or what?!

Wanna add some of your own?
Be welcome to share on this blog, or have your private moments, or talk with a friend about it……
It’s a very, very good way to look deeper into life. Increase your awareness and catch every moment that you or others use the words ‘just’ and ‘only’, and read the situation truthfully. Be amazed at what is revealed! And even more, act upon it.